Catching Up

Way too long since I've blogged. Not that there haven't been themes and topics but I haven't been available. October is breast cancer awareness month and November is Knee month - well not for everybody just for me. On November 10th I had a total knee replacement. I am recovering from surgery and doing rehab. What I've learned about knee replacement surgery and recovery is that there is not a single path. There are multiple paths in recovery. Those paths are not always coordinated and interdependent. On the one path I have a new knee. The knee straightens and flexes and will allow me to have more mobility and comfort as I go about my days. I'll climb stairs, can walk on hikes and stand without discomfort. The other path is that my knee was opened, bone and joint sawed and removed and the prosthesis was hammered and glued into place. That path sounds like something out of a horror movie and therein lies the rub. When I had my gallbladder removed I rested and gained strength over two weeks and was back to work and normal routine in two weeks. Pretty simple as it all seemed to work so well together. With the knee, the new joint is in a cocoon waiting to erupt in usefulness. The only barrier is that the new knee has to break out of a shell of stiffness, swelling and pain. Do you know among knee patients OW is the most common word used in the lexicon of recovery. I do mean OWWW! So to help the butterfly knee emerge from its' strong cocoon there is PT and rehab. Rehab is a commitment to the future. A true opportunity to teach one the meaning of keeping your eyes on the prize. I am gritting my teeth and surreptitiously whining inside as I go through this. Well six weeks more I will probably be recovered and on my way back to life as a I knew it. I have missed all of the events of my normal life. I am so convinced that it just can't happen without me. Oh my delusions are huge. But I am getting better and it is something that doesn't happen alone so I am grateful.

Along the path I didn't blog about a number of things. I didn't blog the birthday of my precious 7 year old grandson Eli. I did complete his Frogs, Lizards and Reptiles of my quilt. I was rewarded with a picture by cell of a boy wrapped in the quilt like a burrito and I get reports that he sleeps in his snuggy quilt every night. He is a precious, precious boy with a very old soul and wit and intelligence that will light the future.

I missed blogging about the wedding of Matt and Halle. Matt is my nephew through Sue and Tom. He and Halle chose an intimate beach side wedding in California. Though many of us didn't go we were so joyed at their wedding. Matt and Halle are musicians and artists and very fun members of the family. Matt and Halle are an integral part of family times and we love Matt's stories about life in LALa land. They are two treasures who we all hope will share a long and happy life together.

I so missed blogging about my Mom's birthday and all that she means to me. She is awesome and ever her warm special self. She is genuinely loved by so many because of her warm smile, interest in connecting with others and true enjoyment of the family and social scene. Mimi loves her family and friends and we are all rewarded with her lovely grace and warmth. She is fun and lovely and treasured by her family. We have heard that there are other Mimi's but we always know ours is da bes!

I didn't blog about my brother-in-law Tom's birthday and what he means to me. Tom has been a part of our family for nearly 50 years. To me he is the brother I never had. He is joyful and has a wonderful hearty laugh. We are very different people but probably alike in the ways that really count. He listens to my stories of life with interest and humor and can add an observation that truly enhances my own perspective. He is one of my very favorite people because he relates to me as if I am fun, interesting, unique and playful. Plus he really likes me I can tell. I love Tom and his dear presence in my life. He is the kind of friend that makes you feel alive.

The day after my surgery was Veteran's Day. Veteran's Day is an important day for me because my Dad and my uncle are veterans. When Aunt Jimmie died this past summer we lost another veteran. I blogged about her many contributions to us and her own family. Her husband Uncle Jack and my Dad have long been two of my very important heroes for the wonderful people they are. Their love of country, sacrifice for others, and commitment to making life better for everyone and genuine valor is inspirational to me as I go about my life and my purpose. Thank you gentleman for all you are.

The last but not least event I missed blogging about was Jon's birthday. Jon came over to share an evening pre surgery and we had smoked Texas brisket, Lee's pinto beans and macaroni salad and beer. Jon requested no dessert so there was no traditional Mexican Chocolate cake. It was a fun evening with laughter and sharing. I blew it though when I forgot he hated hardboiled eggs and added some very fine minced hard boiled eggs to the macaroni salad. Poor Jon couldn't eat the salad. He has to be vigilant against hardboiled eggs lest they appear in food and shock his sensitive palate. Despite my teasing he does have a great palate and is one of my favorite appreciative eaters. He has even been known to share kitchen time as his Mama's sous chef. He is great at chopping despite no formal training. Jon is newly back in the Dayton area having a promotion. It is a huge treat to have him nearby. We've been able to have several dinners that have been so fun. He even came and brought pizza post surgery to tempt his Mama. What a great guy!

We talk a lot about comfort and what that means but recovery from surgery for me is the time I am having revelations about comfort. My family and friends have gone over board sharing meals, fruit, reading materials, treats, flowers, cards, calls and laughter. Sometimes comfort food is described as homey, plain fare. To me comfort food is so much more. The taste of love and care. The search for the right food to bring warmth and security. In lovingly prepared dishes the infrastrucure of the ties of love and support. It is awesome to experience and singular in its feeling. It is achingly beautiful to sore bones to feel such love and caring.

So as I catch you mid Thanksgiving preparations and gathering of your respective clans treasure the time you spend anticipating and working on that holiday meal. It's equally part of the fun and extends the joy of the special day. Take time to think of those near and far away. Those who we don't know who take care of our safety and security around the world. There are many people everywhere who share our hopes and dreams and work toward their being. Happy Thanksgiving each and every day to all of you.

Truth in Blogging

As you may or may not know dinners at family vacation are occasions. We plan and think for months and make the meals an occasion. You've read about the luau, the tailgate and the steak extravaganza and the first night tradition. As my second meal I chose a Texas barbecue and from there it all goes south.

I wanted to avoid accounting for this but I was encouraged by family for truth in blogging. So I lay before you my sadness and sorrow over a meal not great and certainly not up to my desires. Josh and Jen and I planned the said barbecue with guacamole and tortilla chips, brisket smoked low and slow over hickory wood, corn with butter, lime, salt, cheese and chili powder and Lee's beans with a vinegar cole slaw. For dessert we would have our take on flan with a vanilla creme brulee.

All started well beans soaked, slaw made and brisket rubbed. Josh and I awoke early to start the fire and smoke the brisket. After a few false starts we got the fire ignited and made packets of hickory chips for smoking. Chips and brisket were laid on the fire and grew ever more delectable as they cooked. At one point as is usual with smoking we added charcoal and another packet of chips. I left to go to the airport and later Josh called to tell me the brisket had ended up charred because the grill temp couldn't be regulated due to some faulty valves on the grill. The sadness and disappointment are huge. To make things worse the beans I've mad a bazillion times were quite salty. My family is precious and they knew the amount of effort and planning that went into this meal. They did their best to help us feel good about dinner. We made a delicious barbecue sauce to wet the brisket but it really didn't work. It was delicious sauce made by four people together over dry chewy brisket. You get my drift.

It was one of those times that happens to any cook who cares about food and thankfully it isn't a frequent event. For me it's been a rarity and for that I am grateful. I tell this sad tale to offer encouragement to other food lovers who try to make great food for those they love as a sign of their love for those dear ones to enjoy. I think what is most frustrating is that if food is love what have I said to those dear ones? I do love them with all of my heart and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing smiles and hearing murmurs of enjoyment.

However I learned that there is another side to food is love. It is love as the food for family. While chatting with Dad and ruing the course of the brisket my Dad showed his true self when he said, 'I couldn't imagine no0t enjoying any meal that my daughter cooked for me." My sweet younger sister lauded all of the effort and planning to create such a meal and acknowledged that even with all of that there is still an opportunity for disappointment but it was mostly the thought that counted. My sweet Mom loved the creme brulee and it was delicious. She had two servings and stated she loved the meal. How can anyone go wrong with a family like this?

So I have been truthful in describing the highs and lows of the meal. The lows of course are the dishes that failed and the high points were guacamole, fish dip, cole slaw, corn and creme brulee. But the point that was the highest was my wonderful family support and their recognition of the love intended through my cooking. Tomorrow is another day to win the food battle. I will not go down twice in a row - especially for the last supper. Tomorrow we'll have steak with paprika parmesan butter, Mimi's sauteed corn, Sue's twice baked potatoes, some slaw or a salad and for dessert watermelon. It will be an awesome meal that brings love full circle love through food and the food of love from those most dear.

The First Day

Today is the first official day of family vacation. Jon and I take a run from Haslett up to Treaverse City to piuck up five Diamonds at the Cherry City Airport. Everything arrives less one car seat and Josh's luggage. Boys run through an empty baggage area to expend pent up energy. Eli wiggles a loose front tooth and Granna checks out the two new lower teeth emerging from his gum. Soon his mouth will be a jumble of baby teeth and adult teeth. Gabe is perky and ready to play. He shows everyone the big scar from seven staples in the back of his head when he flipped and cleaved his head on a paver. Uncle Jon tall as the sky holds his new niece who nestles against his neck for a sleepy snuggle. Little Miriam is kissed and held and passed from great grandma to auntie, to auntie to cousin. Eli is off to cavort and flirt with the teens Cammy and Crystalle. Cute girls who love little guys and are willing to play endlessly. Fords arrive with kids from Colorado and California. Armed with guitars and other instruments Halle and Matt will share music as they practice for an upcoming wedding where they will play. Becky Ford and the aunties and Jen catch up on life and laugh about adventures in motherhood. Tom and Sue sit back, observe and laugh taking it all in with the comfort and sense of another year, another week we made it!



Mimi and Bobo as the keepers of tradition offer dinner on the first night every year. It's always the same - Tony Packo's hot dogs. Tony Packo's came to fame when Jamie Farr as Klinger on MASH touted Tony Packo's restaurant as he tried to escape the Army by dressing in drag. Tony Packo's restaurant was home to the Hungarian hot dog. An oompah/jazz band played on the weekends and the accordian player was known for his flips mid-song. Hot dogs in buns encased in plastic are signed by celebrities and adorn the walls. To accomapny the dogs Mimi makes potato salad and we have beans - tight beans named for the beans that are not sauce laden but "tight". Bobo grills the Tony Packo's and heats the buns on the grill. Those beautiful dogs are nestled in toasted buns and are laced with hot dog relish, ketchup pickles and condiments of choice. We always have Tony Packo's sweet hot pickles and regular Tony Packo's pickles.



My role in all of this - I stand and laugh and feel goosebumps tracing up and down my arms as I see these dear ones, hear the love and laughter echo through the house to the rumble of little feet racing through the house. We are together at last





Tight Beans



4 large cans of Bush's bacon and brown sugar beans



In an sluminum pan from the grocery store dump the beans. Place in a 325 degree oven and bake. Every half hour you stir them and bake until the bean liquid has cooked off and the beans ar5e dark brown. Remove them from the oven after several hours. Cover with foil and rest on the stove. Pack up the car and take it to the Wheeler Cottage for dinner. Honestly there is nothing else in them. Per Mimi

The Countdown

In one week the week of all weeks will have arrived. Sitting on my counter are three - so far - bags of grocery supplies. Recipes are tucked inside the bag and spices have been gathered. Menus are formed and activities planned. Let the fun begin! This is an incredible time for our family. This week, family will gather from Ohio, Michigan, California, Washington and Colorado. There are four generations to hug and kiss and bask in the glow of shared activities. There will be an Asian grill, a Texas barbecue, a tailgate party, a Beach bums baseball game to be enjoyed and more! Every night over drinks and apps there will be an ongoing cornhole game that pits in ever changing permutations and combinations all family members.



After dinner we'll pit men against women in a gin game called Slip Ass - there I said it! Facing each other across the table a couple plays a gin game. Scores for the round are tallied and whichever side wins slips to face a new opponent. My Dad - The Iron Duke - is the master of the game and teaches the uninitiated. His team of men receives admonishment and coaching from him throughout the evening. Believe me you don't want to let him down. Even the youngest generation participates. Cammie learned years ago and plays well. Eli anticipates the time he can stay up to play. After being snuggled in bed he sneaks down to sit on his dad's lap and help his Dad play. He asks when he can stay up to play. His Momma and Daddy assure him he needs to be older than he is. He goes after playing cards with a vengeance. Mom and Dad have a deck of cards with 26 pairs of trout flies used to play Go Fish. Before he even had hopes of reading Eli learned all of the cards by name! He could look at the card and announce the name of the fly.



Since we have so many little guys aged 6, 3 and 3 months lots of time is spent in child thrilling activities. Gabe and Eli love soccer and baseball so there will be lots of that and Mira will be cuddled and passed from person to person to meet and greet her family. Cammy will bring a friend who has some history with us and knows the drill of the Henry week. We'll have a bonfire one night with somemores. We can canoe and paddle and swim and the sun worshippers will be risking melanoma.



The food is incredible. We start the week with Mimi and Bobo's Tony Packos hot dogs and pickles with beans and Mimi's potato salad and brownies. Various people take nights and plan meals for the family to enjoy. I am generally the culinary risk taker. This year the Asian grill will be my personal challenge. It will be comprised of three entrees with sides and a souffle cake dessert. The entrees will be smaller more so people will have bites of different things rather than a normal portion. Should be great fun. My Dad makes an incredible brie with nuts and sweet topping. I found a recipe for an Asian version with macadamia nuts which should be great. I'll share the recipe later.



So for the people who always require a recipe I'll share a dish I made last week for Lee from the garden. It was a great meal shared with laughter and new tastes. An ode to the week to come with my precious family!



Eggplant with Summer Squash



2 medium eggplants peeled and sliced lengthwise

2 eggs

panko bread crumbs

1/2 salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

vegetable oil



2 summer squash cut in chunks

1/2 onion chopped

1 clove of garlic minced

1 green pepper cut in med chop

2 roma tomatoes cut lengthwise and then sliced in medium chunks

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1 Tbsp. capers rinsed and drained

1 tsp lemon zest

juice of 1 lemon

1 tsp. herbes de provence

salt pepper

2 T. butter



Heat pan and add vegetable oil to 1 inch depth in a large frying pan. Bring the oil to a high temp. Beat the eggs and add 3 Tbsp. of water and combine thoroughly. In a shallow dish put the eggs in another dish place the panko and salt, pepper and garlic powder, mix well. Dip the eggplant in the egg mixture then dip in the panko and then fry in the oil. When one side is brown turn the eggplant to the other side. Alternatively you can place the eggplant on a greased pan and spray with a little PAM. Bake in a 425 degree own until done. Flip over once after about 15 minutes. The eggplant is done when a fork easily pierces the crust and eggplant beneath. Keep warm.



While the eggplant cooks, heat a large pan with a Tbsp of olive oil. Add the onion and saute about 5 minutes then add the garlic and squash. Saute until tender. Add 1 tsp of herbes de provence, lemon zest and juice, and capers with pepper and salt. Toss gently and add the knob of butter to melt and combine with the juices and herbs to make a butter sauce.



Put some eggplant on a plate for each person. Top with the squash and serve. It's really yummy and so rewarding thinking that most of this came from your garden!

Independence Day

Another 4th of July dawns and I am up with the sun. The Fourth is a favorite holiday because it's the birthday of our country. As a child of the 60's I demonstrated against the war in Vietnam and worked to change politics and tried to make life better for those less fortunate. There is much criticism of boomers and some of it may be warranted however through Facebook I've connected with classmates. Now in our early 60's I feel gratified to discover that many are teachers, ministers, social workers, and in other professions that continue to seek to create life as better for others. None of these folks are narcissistic or selfish. They intentionally live in community with others and are conscious of the community being created.

My own family enfolds many of the same people working to make the world a better place for others through medicine, education and human services. It's our family passion. I am so pleased to be a part of this family by the happy "accident of birth" When I pause to think about how my generation was created in this way I see it as a natural outcome of World War II. As the children of the greatest generation we were loved and cherished by parents who knew what the world was capable of creating both good and evil. Coming back from the war and seeing its tragedies and triumphs they chose to create a better world of their own choosing that celebrated security and opportunity that was created through the same time war time commitment applied to postwar life . Heroism abroad became as heroism at home as they built families, careers and homes.

In the current global crisis and crisis at home people are revisiting the values and behaviors of a previous generation and going back to basics. Again it's a salute to the parents who created safety and opportunity. Many of my friends and fellow bloggers celebrate the lives of parents and their legacies in their own lives to create home and security like they enjoyed for their own families and others. While the 4th of July is a birthday celebration it's also a celebration of heritage of generations long ago and family remembered for their sacrifice and commitment. We enjoy the benefits of that sacrifice and sometimes we just forget for a while and become more focused on our own lives and that of current generations. I try to take time to connect to the past through my growing interest in genealogy and the lives of my family. I celebrate them in my own way by trying to share my love with them and my appreciation for their hard work and vision and dedication to their families.

There are many heroes among the generations but the ones I know the most are the ones I'm best able to celebrate. I regularly celebrate my wonderful uncle who had a career in the military that spanned many global conflicts. I celebrate him and his family and offer my sincere gratitude for their actions and commitment. This year we lost my sweet Aunt Jimmie who was the soldier at home. Her passing touched us all deeply and made us cherish even more the time we have left with that generation. My Uncle Jack is one of my personal heroes and I am thrilled to enjoy a relationship that gives me so much. I just hope that my love and affection provides something for him. He's a great guy.

My Mom is a shero in my life because she taught me about being a Mom and caring for family and home. She also taught me a lot about fun and being a Granna as my little ones call me. I've never been able to do laundry in the way that my daughter loves as much as her Mimi's . I try to make up for it with cooking love. The other veteran in my life is my Dad. He is not the kind of person who likes to be made the center of attention but he takes great pride in his accomplishments as he should. He served in the Army in the Korean war. We were stationed at what is now Fort Polk in Louisiana. He was a physician and worked hard. He is proud of his military service as we all are. A year ago I visited him in Florida. We went to see the Glen Miller orchestra. At the end of the concert that last song was dedicated to the veterans and they were asked to stand. My heart lept as Dad stood. Looking out at the sea of older men was an awe inspiring experience.

So to all of the veterans in the United States and soldiers thank you for your sacrifice. You are in my heart and I think of you daily with gratitude and hope. I hope and want to create that we don't need soldiers and sacrifice from families like Aunt Jimmie's and Uncle Jack's and my parents in the future and that we all have the opportunity see our nation's Declaration and Constitution lived out in the lives of all.

A Diamond Trifecta

OOOOweeee! Today is a big day. Miriam Steven Diamond was birthed this morning in Seattle. Josh and Jen got up very early left their two sweet little men to anxiously await their chance to meet their new baby sister. At about 2 I received a happy phone call announcing that everyone is well and healthy. Mira is 7 lbs 14 ounces of cuddly love. She has very light hair and to me looks like a lovely blend of her two big brothers. Later, her two bros stopped by to see her and Mom and Dad. Both held Mira and were captivated by this new member of their family. Gabe and Eli were leaving and Gabe asked his Mom and Dad who would stay to care for Mira. Being cared for is huge for Gabe. Jen and Josh assured him all is right with the world and Mommy and Daddy will be there for her. Jen and Mira return home on Sunday.

Jen and Josh are wonderful parents. Each is incredibly attuned to their children and are firmly grounded in each child's unique personality and perspective. Jen and Josh are so present to their children. They have a saint's patience. For me there is an incredible sweetness watching them. At Eli's birth, he was taken to a bassinette to be cleaned checked and measured. Jen lying on the surgical table urged Josh to be with Eli and soothe him with his voice. I had the wonderful honor of carrying Eli back to Jen's room. To hold this precious being and understand the weight you carry is the weight of generations in one tiny form. Babies carry the past but are our prayer and hope for the future. To place a young one in life is faith and trust despite the world's harsh realities.

I am thinking of my grandmas and grandpas and Josh's grandma Miriam and wish they were here to share in this exciting time. They would feel keenly the presence of the past, present and future in this new life and see themselves going forward. Maybe it's a bit like Our Town. The characters in the play who had passed on observed how oblivious those they left behind were and how caught up in every day humdrum. Those characters wished for their loved ones the ability to sense how precious it all is and how fleeting. The birth of this baby like all births slows things down and calls us to sense anew the meaning of love and commitment to our children and family for the time we have.

I talked to my Mom and Dad several times today. They are thrilled and anticipate holding Mira and seeing the big brothers in August. Our family time will be wonderful. Aunties' and cousins' arms ache to hold the baby. Mimi wanted to know what the recipe for this post might be. She suggested pablum. This recipe is more about people and what it takes to make a family.

Josh gives his presence as a stable ship in both calm and stormy seas - sailed with a wry grin
Jen is heart and fierceness as she stands for her family
Eli is the watcher and visionary seeing opportunity and creating possibility
Gabe is adventure and laughter, life lived with abandon and joy
Miriam is a cuddly sweetness, a touchstone, a connection
Love stirred in gently on some days, shaken on some - they are a family.

In which I ponder the heroes of my life and Thurber and friends return me to laughter

I am tired. It's been five weeks since I started in the new job and like many changes it isn't easy. I am covering several positions and it is a bit of a challenge. The transition ocurred two weeks before the scheduled date for completion of the restructuring process for the team I work with. Our beloved AA is leaving at the end of April to devote full-time to nursing school and we have yet another resignation. All positions are posted and we begin the process of screening, interviewing and hiring. After hiring comes orientation - another process. We'll be hiring for positions that cover 17 counties so that's a lot of territory to orient new folks to. I am fortunate to work with great people and they'll be wonderful resources and colleagues for anyone new.

It has been hard to find time for the things that restore me -family, friends, cooking and books. I did steal some time last weekend to drive to North Carolina to see my aunt and uncle. They are dealing with some health challenges and I really wanted to connect with them. They are wonderful people and it is centering to share some space and time with those dear people. Like so many people in my family and my dear friends they are my heroes.

I am so blessed that among those I count as dear in friends and family are people who embody everything that is good about people. These family and friends are people who will never be in popular media but they make everyone's lives better for their presence. At every opportunity they show up for others and the things they believe in. We don't always agree or think alike but we share a passion for our beliefs and are committed to what we think is good in the world. I am grateful everyday for your presence in my life. You are all my heroes and sheroes

So many times you have showed up for me, it would be impossible to recount them. But, I will share the most recent. Among our treasured friends are Meribeth and Mary. I go way back with Meribeth and Mary. I met Meribeth at church when our children were little and we have bonded over many years. Mary is also a friend from that church. Mary is a very talented artist. I love her art that is such a personal expression of her wonderful personality. Her work is bright, familiar, and catches your eye in a way that is playful and comforting. Mary observes the wry twists of life and can find humor in most of life. It shows in her work and art.

Meribeth is an entrepreneur and has managed several businesses. Meribeth is a connector. She connects to people and really listens to what they are saying. Taking in all of those thoughts and words she is a poet and writer. She loves to present the written word in a most expressive way. Last night after a wonderful dinner and several games of Clue (Mary won both!) we were discussing books and Meribeth talked about a Thurber book she was reading. So she pulled out the book and read in earnest those very funny words. I laughed so hard I cried and laughed and cried. It was a great escape from what has been the normal pace of life these days.

Mary and Meribeth didn't share their recipes with me though I am sure they would. I do however remember an appetizer I made for a dinner we shared some time ago. It is a blend of a hummus and red pepper dip with feta. So easy because you can just whirl it in a food processor and enjoy. It is a perfect prelude to a bottle of wine, talking, laughing and sharing with those who are dear in your life.

Red Pepper Dip

1 can of chick peas drained and rinsed (save the liquid from the can)
3 T. tahini
3 whole roasted red peppers (jarred are fine)
4 oz. feta
2 tsp. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. garlic minced
1/8 tsp. cayenne

Add all of the above to the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. If it's dry adda Tablespoon of the liquid from the chickpeas until the texture is just right. Correct the seasoning with salt and pepper. It is really great with pita crisps or crudites.

Thank you to my dear family and friends for showing up in my life! You know who you are.